help my unbelief

this morning i was nonchalantly singing through Great is Thy Faithfulness when i stumbled across this line from the chorus: "All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!"

it struck me how untrue this line is. no--all i have needed, i bought at the grocery store. or all i have needed my parents gave me. i can't honestly say that i depend upon God for any of my material possessions. not in the same way i depend upon my own cash flow.

this begs the question: do we, as affluent Americans, really understand what it might mean for God to provide for all our physical needs?

i say no. but i bet Mike Yankoski, who spent several months living among the homeless in several U.S. cities, understands what it means. his provisions--namely, food--came from others' generosity, and in our culture there's a sense of shame and vulnerability in receiving handouts.

Yankoski writes this: "Begging is hard. It's something you expect hungry dogs to do, but not men and women made in God's image. The minute you put out your hand, or open your guitar case, it feels like you're writing 'failure' and 'weakness' all over yourself. You're telling everyone who comes by, 'I am unable.' The message blares up and down the sidewalk, and across multiple lanes of traffic. And the message doesn't stop screaming until you pull back your hand, or close up your case." this is not some scholar's understanding of what somebody once reported to him--this is a first-hand account.

i can't even imagine.